ayueedigoshi

Hi everyone, I know I kinda just dropped off the face of the earth but in the last four months two very important people in my life passed away and i've just felt like plain crap and haven't even been on here, or writing anything, at all. Just thought i'd let you know. I have no clue when i'll feel up to writing again.

Hello every one. Well after dealing with some family issues that I really thought was going to end my writing for all time, and also dealing with some spiritual emotional issues...I'm back from the dead it seems. Now here's the bad news and a lot of you will probably hate me cause I am kicking myself believe me.

Two things happened during my struggle with whether or not I should continue writing slash/arguing with my family.

1. I decided to give it up.
2. I threw away my hard disk full of all my plans and completed future updates.

Which means now that I have come to my senses thanks to the loving council of my dearest friend Aisha, It's nearly impossible to finish TDK and MBTM. it would take re-planning everything and rewriting and re editing which can be done but it will take weeks of time that with school and work I just don't have right now.

I have already wept at my own stupidity, prayed for a time machine to take it back, and agonized over how many people this will disappoint and or make mad at me. As a reader and lover of fanfiction I would be majorley ticked at myself right now. The only thing I can say is how truly sorry I am, and that life is never easy and sometimes we don't always ride the downs as well as we would hope. A lot of things were going on in my life and still are and I'm just as much human and capable of making stupid mistakes as my characters.

Some Good News: While I was away this summer and didn't have a computer I was forced to write in a journal. In this journal I had mapped out a story arch for a fiction I had planned to start after the other one's were finished. Since all of the data for those one's is Gone I am going ahead with this project. Well that's my sorry tale in a nut shell and once again I am incredibly sorry for this, I feel like I lost my baby or something.

First off sorry to all those whom I have not had a chance to befriend or answer questions. I went away for the summer and have not been near a computer until now as i mentioned before. I really don't have a clue why Lj acts up for some of you and not the rest. I ask that you make the effort of friending me and I will do my best to befriend all those who have friended me while I was gone.

IF and only IF that doesn't work and you still can't read the stories please respond in a comment below. I have on a disk ready to attach to an email.

MBTM all the way up to the last update. (keep in mind the latest update should be here tomorrow and this will not be included.)

& LOTF the complete story.

If you would like me to send you an email with either or both of these attached to it please respond with your name and email. I will try and get these out as soon as possible.

HI EVERYONE.

It's been a long long time hasn't it. Well I have some good news. I am back from the wilderness of summer camp. As much as I ennjoy kids spending an entire summer away from my computer in the middel of nowhere with them can make a girl REALY miss computers. Oh but thats the rewards for sainted Camp Counclers. (we should get paid far more)

It's been months since an update I know but I am working on a new one for MBTM as we speak. I've had months to simmer up ideas it should be good.

How was your summers? Hope it was great. See you in a few.

Due to me being way to busy and a host of friends stopping by and inviting me places and not letting me refuse. (gotta love them) I have not finished the next chapter of TDK expect an Update soon keep checking but it's not coming TODAY MONDAY THE 30th!

I'm so happy I finished that last chapter of MBTM two days ago. I really like it if it's not too bold of me to say so. As I mentioned at the top of the chapter the next chapter of TDK is coming Monday. after I got back from Joe's with V and a couple others I sat down and did this video.

I have one issue to bring up that bugs me a little. Why is everyone so cut throat about Hp shipping?

I had a girl tell me I wasn't a true H/D shipper because I can write an H/Lv, H/G H/Hr H/R fic!
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Next Update for MBTM: Tonight
TDK: Monday

while your waiting I discovered you can make videos with your SIMs game. (well I knew that i just didn't know people were making music videos.) I found some neat Harry Draco ones.

This one is really good. It's like watching a fan fic! Yeah you will probably be sick of this song but lol it seems to be real popular on youtube.


Ok this one just had me laughing my arse off!



And this one was so sweet...*sighs* I think Draco Malfoy could have been the best Character in the books. J.K really dropped the ball!

Man this is an oldey but this song caught at my heart strings. Maybe because of my currant frame of mind and my sudden confusion over M and V it caught at my heart strings. I met Christine for the first time in the flesh and she is such a lovely girl! *Sighs* which is in fact part of the problem she seems like a little girl to me and I know part of that is the fact that I seem to have developed a craving for her man and my nineteen to her sixteen seems like a plus to my favor.

M called me and I was sooo happy to hear from him M is amazing. We've been together for four years, we grew up together we're best friends before we started dating, he's my older brothers Best friend as well we have this amazing girl/boy next door relationship. It's like talking to another brother sometimes though. I love that about him and don't want too loose it and I know I would because really if I were him and my girlfriend was fixated on someone else I'd be "just a little" hurt.

And eek I keep going on about it but I need to solve this and solve it fast! Its fast becoming obvious. My friend Mer, looked at me strangely and was like. "Do you have a crush on V? wait don't you have a boyfriend back home..."

And then M called me again right after Chapel and it was kind of freaky but in the background he was playing this song (he's a big MCR fan). I shivered and it was making me feel so guilty I almost cried....

When you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

*Sigh* I felt like he was telling me to just out with it and confess. Maybe thats what I need. Confession is supposed to do wonders for the soul. Maybe I should just call him and confess that I just don't love him like I did yesterday.

But then I second guess myself and think about what life would be like without him I don't think I've spent a day since I met him when I was four without him in my life!

*sighs*

Hello Everyone As I mentioned in my Everyone thank V post I am now going to place my self on a strict schedule! I may change some things as time goes on so look for new schedules.

On the 9th Look for the first chapter of my first ever Maurders era fic. I don't think this will be a long one its Sev/Sir/Remus centered. Its kind of a romantic comedy with some angst thrown in. (its Severus how can there not be.) (also anyone willing to do art for any of my fics please let me know!)

Onthe 11th I shall post one chapter of MBTM.

On the 20th I shall post one chapter of TDK.

I have stressed continually that I am always open to conversation and it doesn't have to be about Hp either. Lol Discussions are always so wonderful.

I will have daily journals after all this is a journal so if your at all interested in hearing me ramble on about my life and my thoughts lol you can come and talk to me anytime!

I'm thinking of taking a sixth month break. I'm tired... just plain tired.

Tired of being consumed by this, it has left the realm of fun and has become addiction.

I think about it 24/7 planning and plotting and all in the hopes of satisfying some inner need for companionship.

And really thats stupid how can I expect strangers to feed my sense of self worth. It's something I need to figure out on my own.

I'm not being fair to my boyfriend and I'm not being fair to myself, or my God for that matter. My attention is always divided. there is always only half of me. I wondered why I was having such a hard time making friends at my school and Why I was so lonely all the time.
( Readmore )

Hey everyone My birthdays on the 15th this month. I'm so excited... My mom and all my friends and my Bf,keep asking what I want. well I thought it would be simple to write it all down and woa it turned into something really deep. lol.

As I approach my 19th birthday and all my friends are asking just what I want for my birthday...

I have to stop and wonder. What do I want.
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No there is no slash it's pretty much canon but it's not romance centered anyway so unless you have something against Harry potter in general *winks* you should be fine. It's just an emotional tribute.



For a full description behind the vid go to You tube. Song is Held by Natale Grant. COMMENTS are sooo welcome!!! I made it myself!

Ok some of you are confused as to where the chapters start after AFF cuts off. Some of you can not access these chapters. For a while I have been just as confused as the rest of you wondering why the link worked for some and not for others.

BEHOLD I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

If you do not do two of two things you will not be able to read my stories! it will say it's forbidden!

One you have to make your own Lj account and be signed in to it when you want to read!
Two once your account has been made you must Friend me!

When I accept your friendship the locks on my story will go down and you will have complete access!

The following link will take you to the first update after where Aff ends. To read all the other chapters after that you need to just go forward in my journal. If you click next entry and it's something else other then LOTF thats ok keep going on to the next entry. I have other stories and just plain old Journal entries on here as well. Keep clicking next entry until you find each chapter. I am already on the fifth chapter of LOTF's sequel so hurry and catch up. (Lol)

http://ayueedigoshi.livejournal.com/11292.html#cutid1

The link to TDK chpter five is here: http://ayueedigoshi.livejournal.com/19591.html#cutid1

Alright I want to post Lord of the fae on other sights and I would like their to be pictures to go along with the story. Sadly my genius *winks* runs out after I have the story on paper. I can not draw for my life. I want to draw other people to the story and frankly my art would scare them away! So I need some one who can draw to do it for me. Do not worry you would receive full credit for your art work I would hate it if some one stole my story and called it their own. If you have the free time and want too could you commission severel pictures for me? If yes then reply to this message with a yes and an example scene. I'll let you know if I think it's what I'm looking for.

What I need for examples...

Draco in fae form

Harry in fae form.

WoW! I had the most amazing time! Let me tell you it was the best the first week and a half I didn't even miss my computer! Although if I'm honest the last couple days my mind kept straying to TDK and all its plot lines. Hee heee Guys I have some surprises in store! Man my brain was on TDK overdrive I already have it's ending planned and the plot lines for the last in the Trilogy even a possible Title! But thats getting ahead of ourselves. First we have to finish this adventure. See you in a few better get too it.

Tdk:newest update http://ayueedigoshi.livejournal.com/19591.html#cutid1

There seems to be some trouble finding my latest update. Lol. Go to the callender see where it says Feb. 8th? Click the number eight. See the entry titled MBTM(update) thats it. There is a link in their thats green it either says read more or chpt or something like that. Click that.